Delirium Songfics
by Raven Aorla
Summary: Originally "Endless Songfics", but I keep getting Delirium ideas.
1. Fireflies

I do not own the Endless. Neil Gaiman may claim to, but no one owns the Endless. They own themselves. Neither do I own "Fireflies" by Owl City.

I had fun thinking about under what circumstances and in what sort of setting you could write a love story for Delirium. Here is my attempt.

* * *

There is only one rule in Chaos, as rules are the antithesis of all that Chaos represents. The rule is: do not attempt to organize, create, solidify, or otherwise impose order upon Chaos.

The denizens of Chaos are not properly alive (life constitutes order) or properly dead (death separates and divides what was once living). So the punishment for breaking the one rule of Chaos cannot be death. There is no difference between pain and pleasure in Chaos, so the punishment cannot be either.

It would be existential torment for an agent of Chaos to be forced into Order, but that would require the realms to interact with one another, which neither can abide. The Dreaming is too kindly for such as these beings, so that is no option either.

Thus the sentence for seeking to sort-filter-match-categorize-sift-judge: to become a part of the waking world. With memories intact.

This is the origin of Tobias Shutterdon, who is currently labeled neatly (_oh _the labels, the terms, the diagnoses!) as an undifferentiated schizophrenic with severe insomnia.

_You would not believe your eyes  
If ten million fireflies  
Lit up the world as I fell asleep_

One of the diagnoses is incorrect. He does have extraordinary difficulty falling and staying asleep. He does not hallucinate, initially. He merely _feels, _and cannot handle the feeling of it all. He wants to be psychotic. He wants to lose his connection with reality. It is reality that is currently intolerable, in its concreteness and bruising solidity. _  
_

_'Cause they'd fill the open air  
And leave teardrops everywhere  
You'd think me rude  
But I would just stand and stare_

He knew she'd come to him if he waited and laughed and sobbed long enough. He called as loud as he could. He bit and scratched himself until restrained, and then he banged his head until prevented, and then he refused to eat until the dreams began to slip into the edges of his eyes.

"YoU'rE noT MoRTAl," she says with a start upon arriving, and oh she is so beautiful with the sunset in her hair and the disjointed halves that remind him of home. "WhY Are YoU MAd tHEn? YoU'RE Not A goD I Know and I kNOW a LOT of GoDs. I EvEN almost MarRiED one BuT I don'T lIke tO taLK aBouT iT."

"I've been, like, you know…" (they had given him the appearance and faculties of an addled adolescent) "Exiled! Exiled from Chaos, cause I'm a, a, uh, a I tried to _make. _You aren't allowed to, like, make things in Chaos, you know? I tried – I tried to make…"

She exudes a thousand and one bubbles that twinkle and turn into bugs that turn into candies that turn into feathers of a thousand and one flavors. "I MaKE tHiNGS." She sounds sympathetic.

He finds that he can take off the jacket and sit up from the bed. Grass is growing around them. "I know. I saw you. I'm a prince of Chaos – well, I was, a _big important_ prince and I was sent to your realm as an envoy but you weren't _there. _There was a sundial and a statue and a broken heart and a lot of different smells and a lake of tears and so many colors and I saw that you _make _and I wanted to make something for you."_  
_

"WhY aRe YoU hEre?"

"My punishment is to have this body and have to deal with reality. And it wants to sleep and I don't know how to sleep!"__

I'd like to make myself believe  
That planet Earth turns slowly  
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay  
Awake when I'm asleep  
'Cause everything is never as it seems

"I DoN'T KnoW HoW to SLEep eITher. I TriED." Her green eye looks sad and her blue eye looks happy. She pirouettes about an imaginary point.

Tobias Shutterdon wants to show her what he tried to make. He tries to show her what he thought of. But he is too rooted in the physical realm to create with pure mind-energy. "I need – Lady, dear Lady, I need you to give me something. I need you to let me be with you."

She blushes and adjusts her tatters. "WhY Do yOu waNT to Be WiTH mE? NoBody WaNTs to, not EvEn litTlE buGSES." __

'Cause I'd get a thousand hugs  
From ten thousand lightning bugs  
As they tried to teach me how to dance  
A foxtrot above my head  
A sock hop beneath my bed  
A disco ball is just hanging by a thread

"There is no love in Chaos. There is nothing but howling noise and so many colors that it feels like darkness. Your realm was _perfect for me. _Please let be your servant there. I will do anything for you. Take me away from the waking world forever and ever."

She thinks about this, and then laughs. "DaNCe WitH mE!"

He finds his body easy to shed, with her strength. Her scent is of old leather and fizzy cheap box wine. They whirl and whirl and whirl and he vomits dominoes and she wipes his mouth for him. Then he coughs up a flower. That's what he made. Her grin upon seeing it is worth all the trials those of Chaos put him through, and the near-year of misery. __

Leave my door open just a crack  
(Please take me away from here)  
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac  
(Please take me away from here)  
Why do I tire of counting sheep  
(Please take me away from here)  
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

"They said it was physically impossible to go three months without sleep," he murmurs. "I tried to explain to them that I needed someone to teach me."

She has him by the hand and is pulling him headlong through a portal over a bridge under a roof and around a pit as deep and as beautiful as the sea. Suddenly she stops and looks over her shoulder. "Why do you love me?"

"Your eyes…" They are both green and full of something he has never known.

"It's too important. I have to know."

"Someone has to. Why not me?"

Then the mask is back. He is relieved. "I tHiNk mY DogGIe and JOe aRe GoNNA LiKE YoU."

They leap into the evanescent swirl. __

I'd like to make myself believe  
That planet Earth turns slowly  
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay  
Awake when I'm asleep  
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams.


	2. The Girl Anachronism

Not my characters. They were documented by Neil Gaiman, though of course they own themselves. Not my song lyrics. They belong to The Dresden Dolls, whose Amanda Palmer is getting married to Neil Gaiman soon. Is it coincidence that they have a song _perfect _for the scary side of Delirium?

And I just had to use Daniel-Dream. Of course I was devastated when Morpheus died, but Daniel is so…so…sweet and adorable and nervous and squishy and innocent and young. ^_^

Before anyone says anything, the erratic punctuation in the lyrics is INTENTIONAL.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

**Prologue**

The Endless do not sleep, except Desire's very occasional naps as part of its hedonism. Barnabas, however, despite not being an ordinary dog, does need to sleep. And when he sleeps he dreams. And this time, when he dreams, he runs.

The wyvern, griffin, and winged horse ask him his business. "Please, I need help. Delirium's in trouble."

Before they even swing the door open, the new Dream appears at the bottom of the steps. His clothes are purest white and his hair like a dandelion puff, his eyes dark and quiet, a hint of concern in his pale face. _"What is it, friend?"_

Barnabas bobs his head respectfully. "Sir, your sister's just lost a boyfriend, and it's getting really scary in her realm, and I'm afraid she's going to do something bad. You're the only one of the family I know how to find."

Dream strokes Barnabas' head and scratches behind his ears. _"Come into the castle and be provided with refreshment and shelter. It is most likely unsafe for you there at present. I will speak to our elder sister."_

"Thank you. I've been very worried."

"_Your loyalty is commendable."_

In the gallery of Dream who is only known as such, and not the collection of names he feels he has no right to use, the space of Delirium has gone black. The sign of the Ankh gleams ever-comforting and true.

"_My sister, I stand in my gallery and hold your sigil. Please talk to me."_

"Hey, kiddo. I was just about to call you. Did you know that the suicide rate has quadrupled in the past two days? Though it is nice in a way when they're happy to see me. Kind of. A little." Death climbs out of the frame, sparkling and sweet, but with anxiety crinkling the edges of her eyes.

"_You are aware of Delirium's current crisis?"_

"Two days ago I picked up this exiled agent of Chaos named Tobias Shutterdon. Skinny but cute. Nice. He said he really loved Delirium but existence just hurt too much to go on any longer, so he killed himself rather than have Del curse him for not considering her reason enough to live. Remind you of anything?"

Dream sighs. He has not yet had a lover in this incarnation, too afraid of the many fiascos that have gone before. "_What do you advise as a course of action?"_

"When Del's really acting up she overwhelms anyone who's in there alone, and I can't afford to become unhinged."

"_What would happen if you became unhinged?"_ he asks nervously.

"Zombie apocalypse."

"_Really?"_

She laughs. "Of course not. You should have seen your face!" Then she is serious once more. "We should go together and try to comfort her."

"_Very well."_

……………………………………………………………………………………………

The realm is even more an assault upon the senses than it usually is. Lightning cracks underground and there are screams from the clouds. Fire burns blue and purple across the landscape. Dream and Death are unable to walk in a straight line, finding that they are treading upon the horizon, and then stepping in dead fish, and then flying, and then sloshing through some kind of yellow ooze. They end up holding hands for comfort and stability.

_you can tell  
from the scars on my arms  
and cracks in my hips  
and the dents in my car  
and the blisters on my lips  
that i'm not the carefullest of girls_

Rats with barbed stingers for tails skitter and whistle. Dream starts losing his ability to tell where his idea of a body is, and what size are its components. Even Death, who is at home anywhere and everywhere, is uneasy.

Bloody hands with fingernails torn off litter a forest. The trees are made of bubblegum and barbed wire. And everywhere the air throbs with a magnified, echoing girl's voice, sobbing and singing in a way that sounds like screams.

_you can tell  
from the glass on the floor  
and the strings that're breaking  
and i keep on breaking more  
and it looks like i am shaking  
but it's just the temperature  
and then again  
if it were any colder i could disengage  
if i were any older i could act my age  
but i dont think that youd believe me  
it's!not!the!way!i'm!meant!to!be!  
it's just the way the operation made me_

"_When my ruby was stolen and used by a villain,"_ Dream murmurs, squeezing his sister's hand with one and touching the emerald with the other, _"madness reigned across the waking world of an entire dimension. Is it like that now? I did not feel any difference."_

They duck and cover from a shower of steel wool, Death instinctively shielding her brother. "Only her people are affected by this, it seems. Most of the souls I've been collecting come from hospitals, sanitariums, streets, homeless shelters, and in some super-depressing cases things like cellars and attics that haven't been opened in a long time."

When the shower has ended, they get to their feet and move closer to the center. "_Have any of the family ever had a successful romance?"_

The rocks are bleeding and clouds are dropping out of the sky with heavy clunks. "If you define a successful romance as one where it continues until one of the parties are dead, the fact that we are Endless and the only ones we can love are immortal means, obviously, no. If you mean taking the end of a relationship with something approaching friendliness and maturity, Destruction was the closest with Astarte."

"_But it was through measures he had set that she had become destroyed."_

"We're all pretty bad at this, really."

Ungodly howls ring through the concrete jungle, and a horde of giant flies buzzes to block out the sun.

"_If this keeps up much longer her people could all be dead."_

"No chance to get better."

"_We must find her soon."_

_and you can tell  
from the state of my room  
that they let me out too soon  
and the pills that i ate  
came a couple years too late  
and ive got some issues to work through  
there i go again  
pretending to be you  
make-believing  
that i have a soul beneath the surface  
trying to convince you  
it was accidentally on purpose_

_i am not so serious  
this passion is a plagiarism  
i might join your century  
but only on a rare occasion  
i was taken out  
before the labor pains set in and now  
behold the world's worst accident  
i am the girl anachronism_

There she is; a cloud of multicolored locusts then blink! A swath of moaning carnivorous plants and blink! A tremendous dragon with one green and one blue eye and blink!

"Del, honey, you have to stop this! We can talk about it!"

"gO AwAY! I MiGht bE cATching sO doN'T ToUCH!" come the gurgling whoops of anguish.

"_I can give you a dream of peace, my sister. You can come rest and be comforted in my realm."_

"Go aWaY! I aM ThE WoRLd's woRst AcciDent!"

The wind whips at them fiercely. Dream is nearly blown off his feet. "Please, Del, we love you!" Death cries, then whispers, "if she tells us to go one more time, we'd better move."

"I AM THE GIRL ANACHRONISM!"

And the universe vomits the siblings into the Dreaming once more, and Deliriums sigil is not merely black any longer. It is aflame.

"No one can go back in there now and stay sane," Death says quietly, letting go of her brother's fingers. "Got suggestions?"

"_Only her people can save her now. I will send out a call." _Then he would call for Destruction to come care for her, should they be successful.

"Thanks, kiddo. I'd better get back to work." Death turns to leave.

Dream touches her shoulder to pause her. "_It would have been far more frightening without you, sister," _he murmurs, and kisses her forehead.

Death smiles slightly and disappears.


End file.
